Talk to me, Goose.

I'm not fond of working in a group when it comes to school projects, but when it comes to my life decisions, I am a collaborator.

When I get the first inkling of an idea, I immediately want to discuss it with someone. I've always been close with my parents, so inevitably, I find myself at my house, telling one of them about the newest scheme I've cooked up. My mom is always fairly receptive of these impromptu discussions that have ranged from moving to Taiwan, to dropping out of college to go to DC, to the road trip I'd love to take next month. Even if she doesn't completely understand my logic, she is a great sounding board. My dad, however, is a different story.

Recently, I have been exploring different options for my life after graduation. With each new thought, idea, or opportunity, I've sat down to talk with my dad about my (very tentative) plans. Every time I have a new though, he just gets confused. Our conversations tend to go something like this:

Me: "Guess what?"

Dad: rolls eyes "What new life plan have you come up with?"

Me: "I heard about this great opportunity blah... blah... blah..."

Dad: "But what about the job you told me about last week?  I thought you were doing that?"

Me: "Well, I might........ I don't know yet"

Dad: "I'm confused."

In one of my classes last week, we discussed communication styles. It was at that point that I had a bit of an epiphany.

Like I said, I am a collaborator. I want to bounce my ideas off of someone before I make a decision. My dad is the opposite. He is a planner, a researcher. If he was thinking about a new job, he would make a mock budget with his proposed salary. He would research the areas surrounding his prospective new office, looking for a house near good schools. He would compare his current benefits package to the one at the new job. Then, after his decision was made, he would begin to tell people.

When I am considering a new job, my initial thoughts are, "Wow, that sounds like it fits my personality perfectly," or "What a cool place to live!" Then, I would talk to people about it, and last, I would do some research before making a final decision.

What have I learned from this realization?

I need to do more research before I talk to my dad. I need to back up my decisions before I tell him my plans. I know he will always be supportive of me, but I think he gets whiplash when I am constantly throwing new ideas at him. :) There is nothing wrong with having different communications styles, we just need to learn to adapt.

Job searching.

Job searching is rough, y'all.

As I get closer and closer to graduation, I am getting more ad more serious about my job search. I LOVE taking care of Penelope, and I have really enjoyed the year and a half I have spent with her. However, I feel like I'm ready to move on.

I'm getting to the point in my life where I really care about things like a 401(k), and health coverage. Maybe that means I'm getting old. Who knows.

I've applied for a number of different jobs, and unfortunately, have yet to land a job. It's begging to get a little frustrating, because I am an impatient person. I know there are people who search for years and years, and I'm already tearing my hair out after mere weeks.

Now what? I have anxiety, and one of the things that helps me stay calm, is to make lists and have a plan.  I need to be patient. I need to have faith that everything will work out exactly how it is meant to. I have to remind myself constantly that I don't have to have everything figured out right now. It is something I am constantly learning and re-learning. Every time I think I'm just at the end of my patience, and I can't do it anymore, it suddenly works out.

I recently put a henna design on my arm. It is a symbol that in Chinese means peace, and in Japanese, means harmony. It is on my forearm, so I see it multiple times a day. It helps me to remind myself to find my inner peace, and harmony, and everything will be well in the end.