Talk to me, Goose.

I'm not fond of working in a group when it comes to school projects, but when it comes to my life decisions, I am a collaborator.

When I get the first inkling of an idea, I immediately want to discuss it with someone. I've always been close with my parents, so inevitably, I find myself at my house, telling one of them about the newest scheme I've cooked up. My mom is always fairly receptive of these impromptu discussions that have ranged from moving to Taiwan, to dropping out of college to go to DC, to the road trip I'd love to take next month. Even if she doesn't completely understand my logic, she is a great sounding board. My dad, however, is a different story.

Recently, I have been exploring different options for my life after graduation. With each new thought, idea, or opportunity, I've sat down to talk with my dad about my (very tentative) plans. Every time I have a new though, he just gets confused. Our conversations tend to go something like this:

Me: "Guess what?"

Dad: rolls eyes "What new life plan have you come up with?"

Me: "I heard about this great opportunity blah... blah... blah..."

Dad: "But what about the job you told me about last week?  I thought you were doing that?"

Me: "Well, I might........ I don't know yet"

Dad: "I'm confused."

In one of my classes last week, we discussed communication styles. It was at that point that I had a bit of an epiphany.

Like I said, I am a collaborator. I want to bounce my ideas off of someone before I make a decision. My dad is the opposite. He is a planner, a researcher. If he was thinking about a new job, he would make a mock budget with his proposed salary. He would research the areas surrounding his prospective new office, looking for a house near good schools. He would compare his current benefits package to the one at the new job. Then, after his decision was made, he would begin to tell people.

When I am considering a new job, my initial thoughts are, "Wow, that sounds like it fits my personality perfectly," or "What a cool place to live!" Then, I would talk to people about it, and last, I would do some research before making a final decision.

What have I learned from this realization?

I need to do more research before I talk to my dad. I need to back up my decisions before I tell him my plans. I know he will always be supportive of me, but I think he gets whiplash when I am constantly throwing new ideas at him. :) There is nothing wrong with having different communications styles, we just need to learn to adapt.

Job searching.

Job searching is rough, y'all.

As I get closer and closer to graduation, I am getting more ad more serious about my job search. I LOVE taking care of Penelope, and I have really enjoyed the year and a half I have spent with her. However, I feel like I'm ready to move on.

I'm getting to the point in my life where I really care about things like a 401(k), and health coverage. Maybe that means I'm getting old. Who knows.

I've applied for a number of different jobs, and unfortunately, have yet to land a job. It's begging to get a little frustrating, because I am an impatient person. I know there are people who search for years and years, and I'm already tearing my hair out after mere weeks.

Now what? I have anxiety, and one of the things that helps me stay calm, is to make lists and have a plan.  I need to be patient. I need to have faith that everything will work out exactly how it is meant to. I have to remind myself constantly that I don't have to have everything figured out right now. It is something I am constantly learning and re-learning. Every time I think I'm just at the end of my patience, and I can't do it anymore, it suddenly works out.

I recently put a henna design on my arm. It is a symbol that in Chinese means peace, and in Japanese, means harmony. It is on my forearm, so I see it multiple times a day. It helps me to remind myself to find my inner peace, and harmony, and everything will be well in the end.

Motivation.

I have been seriously lacking in the motivation department lately.

School, housework, it's so hard for me to accomplish anything. I'm graduating from BYU in 6 weeks. The end is in sight, which should give me more motivation, but somehow it gives me less.

I've always been this way. I keep myself super busy, and eventually I always hit a wall. I hit this point where nothing seems more important than snuggling up in my bed and ignoring everything. I am well aware that it is totally irresponsible of me to think this way. I am slowly learning to recognize when I am nearing that point, and try my best to avoid it.

Now what? What can I do to find my mojo again? I've started making to do lists, even with the simplest of tasks. That way I can actually check things off. When I can check things off, I feel a little bit more productive, even though I may not be accomplishing much. Then, I am a little bit more motivated to finish the more difficult things on my list.

I am glad that although I struggle with finding motivation, at least I am aware of my struggle, and can take steps to avoid it. Hopefully I'll be able to find my mojo and hang on to it just long enough to get through graduation!!

I really can cook. . . .

I've been house-sitting for some neighbors for the last two weeks. Being here has been marvelous, but aside from the obvious perks, it has given me some insights about myself.

The house I am staying in is absolutely beautiful. It is well designed and decorated, and I love spending time here. They have a marvelous home gym, a legit home theater, and a beautiful, well-equipped kitchen. I also love that I get to snuggle with my neighbor's adorable dog. :)

While I've been here, one of my good friends has come over nearly every evening to work on homework, watch movies in the theater, and have dinner. I have cooked full meals for us at least 5 times in the last two weeks.

Typically, I don't cook. I usually come home from work and eat something quick and easy. I'm a big fan of heating up a can of soup, eating a bowl of cereal, or making a quesadilla. These last two weeks, I have really enjoyed cooking actual meals. I realized I really do have the skills to cook if I choose to.

One night, I made garlic-herb salmon with lemon basil rice and a lemon butter sauce. Another night, I made Asian fried rice with chicken and eggs. I made baked tilapia, white cheddar pasta, omelets, and other dishes. All of them turned out to be quite fantastic. It was comforting to realize that I haven't completely lost all my cooking skills. :)

So now what? What am I gonna do with this knowledge? I'm going to cook more. Not only is it much, much healthier, I really did enjoy cooking, and I want to continue to cook on a regular basis. I don't mind cooking for myself, but I'd rather cook for someone else! If anybody wants a delicious home-cooked meal, just let me know!

(You can do the dishes.)

Frugality Boot Camp 2013

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to attend Frugality Boot Camp 2013, hosted by Jordan Page, the Fun, Cheap or Free Queen. What a beautiful event! There were delicious snacks, a lunch provided, and tons of great information. Jordan and her husband Bubba shared information on how they budget, how they split financial responsibilities in their marriage, how to be fashionable on a budget, and how to get the best prices on things like groceries, travel, and so much more!

It truly was an amazing chance for me to be in a place with a hundred other people who share my goal of being, and staying, completely out of debt. I learned a lot of great things, but the most valuable thing I got out of it was the motivation. I feel so pumped, and ready to start saving money.

What did I take away from this?

I feel blessed to be in the situation I am in, rather than the situation many of the people there find themselves in. I am not deeply in debt, or on the verge of losing my house or wrecking my credit score. I am just a college student with a small amount of student loans, who is about to graduate it a not-very-stable job market. I want to save as much money as I can while I still have a job, health benefits, and all the other great things that come with being a student. I want to have a good chunk of money saved up, so if I don't immediately find a job with benefits, or have to pay moving expenses, I'm covered. I am also driving a 17-year-old car that is nearing the end of it's life, and I don't currently have any money saved up if I need a down payment on short notice.

Now what? What can I do to turn that motivation into action? I really do make enough money to cover all my needs, and save a chunk each month; however, I tend to spend too much money on my "wants" instead of saving it. That needs to change. I need to realize that giving up some of the activities with friends will be a bummer, but in the long run, if I am in a good financial place it will be SO worth it.

I spent a few hours the other day looking at the money I have spent over the last few months, and I have definitely found some places I can cut back. I just have to do it. Sounds simple, right? It will be tough, but if I keep myself accountable and motivated, I can do it!

Hey, It's Ok Tuesdays!

It's time for another Hey, It's Ok Tuesday!

Hey, It's OK . . .

.... To waste your weekend watching movies, not working out, when you house-sit for someone with a home theater room and home gym.

.... To think that two weeks is the perfect amount of time to own a dog.

.... To only have the desire to cook when you are in a beautiful, organized, well-stocked kitchen.

.... To already be looking forward to finals, when it's only the third week of the semester.

.... To watch a sappy movie at the end of a crappy day, just because you need a good cry and a happy ending.

.... To do things that irritate the toddler you nanny, just cuz she's so cute when she gets mad at you!

.... To take a hot shower 'til the water runs cold.

Grammar

I like to think I'm an intelligent person. To be honest, I have an IQ that lands me squarely in the "genius" category. I've been a math tutor for seven years.

I like to think I have a pretty good grasp of the English language.

I sometimes think of myself as a bit of a grammar snob. Not the kind that goes around correcting everyone and acting superior, just the kind that reads bad grammar and silently judges the person who wrote it. :) When people use the wrong your/you're or their/there/they're, it's mildly irritating. My biggest pet peeve is when people say "a whole nother." Yeah, "nother" is definitely not a word.

Nothing can humble this self-proclaimed grammar snob faster than the realization that I completely bombed a basic grammar quiz.

I'm sorry, what? I failed?

Oops.

Apparently, I have no place to judge anyone else's grammar, because mine needs some serious work.

In my Business Comm. class, the first test of the semester is a huge grammar exam. The second test is the same grammar exam. So many people do poorly on it, they give everyone a second chance to improve their score. When I first heard that, I though to myself, "I'll just read the information to refresh my brain, and then I'll get an A. No biggie."

Yeah, clearly that's not gonna work.

Now what? I need to humble myself and study like crazy. I have a goal to get an A on the first test, because if I do, I won't have to take the second one. I'm going to go over and over the quizzes and book, and work with the TA and my professor to make sure I understand.

Then, if I get my A, I can go back to being a grammar snob, all silent and judge-y. ;)

What? I enjoy my self-imposed, not-entirely-deserved superiority.

Don't judge me. :)

Tuacahn

I'm auditioning for Tuacahn on Friday evening.

I'm kinda freaking out.

I just keep telling myself that the worst that can happen is I don't get a part, which (obviously) wouldn't be the end of my world.

However, there is always that tiny voice in the back of my head that tries to convince me that if I never try, then I can always say I "could have" done it. It was my choice not to participate.

But really, I'd rather say "I did." Whether I make it or not, I will go there on Friday and sing my heart out, and whatever happens, happens. :)

Plus, if I audition, I get the reward of a night out with friends. I'll either be celebrating, or giving myself a pick-me-up. :) Either way, I win!

Wish me luck!

International Visitors

So, sometimes I look at my page views.

Sometimes, i look to see how people are finding my blog.

Mostly, it's just my followers, and people who click through from my Facebook.

Today, someone found my blog via a Korean search engine.

I'm dying.... Of all the random places?

Oh well, I suppose whoever you are, I'm happy you're here. :)

That's all. :)

Re-introducing ..... Hey, It's OK! Tuesdays

Glamour magazine does a feature called Hey, It's OK, every month. Hopefully, I'll be doing a post every Tuesday. Enjoy!

Hey, It's Ok! ...

....to HATE being cold. It's been in the single digits for weeks. Not fun.

....to already be procrastinating your homework, one week into the semester.

....to be incredibly grateful that you are taking freshman classes as a senior. What, what?!

....to love being single, even though everyone tells you you should be dating more.

....to be seriously considering spending all my savings on a trip to Hawaii. Warmth, beach, family, sounds good to me!

....to blog during class. (that's definitely not happening right now.)

....to postpone moving to the city of your dreams in order to be more financially stable.

....to be crazy excited about the Oscars. Feb 24, people. There WILL be a party.

:)

Perfectionism

So.......

I'm a senior.

Hallelujah.

I thought this day would never come! I'm graduating this April, from BYU. Can't. Even. Wait.

This is my last semester of classes, and honestly, I am just thrilled with my schedule. It is the perfect balance of not-too-hard, and classes-I'm-in-love-with. One of the classes I'm taking is called MCOM 320. It is basically a Business Communication class. I'm pretty excited about it. One of our assignments this semester is to blog at least once a week. (I know, right?!) The goal is for me to apply things I am learning to my life. Awesome.

So after class, I was talking to my professor (whose personality seems very similar to mine. I can tell I like her already.), and she said something that couldn't have been more perfect for me to hear as I'm starting this semester out. I mentioned to her that English is my worst subject. I just hate to write. It's not that I'm bad at it, i just stress about it to a completely unreasonable degree. My teacher called it "perfectionism paralysis."

Perfectionism paralysis.

Whoa.

So there's a name for my seemingly irrational behavior? Never have I heard it so perfectly summed up in two little words. You see, when I don't feel like I can do something perfectly, I lose all my motivation to do it at all. I either turn in an assignment that I feel deserves an A, or I don't turn anything in at all. Which is RIDICULOUS. I know it is ridiculous. I have to constantly talk myself into doing things imperfectly.

Now what?

Now that I have a term to define it, I can better avoid my "perfectionism paralysis." The first way I am going to start, is with this blog. Not only will I blog once a week, like my assignment requires, I will post a second time each week. Sometimes I feel I have nothing to say to the blogosphere because I am not married, nor do I have children, or live in an exotic place, or have a crazy interesting job. But I have to learn to be ok with just being me. I have something to offer the world because I am Stephanie Dawn. I am a student, and a woman, and a perfectionist, and I want to share myself with all of you.

So I'm posting my commitment here, for everyone to see. By writing it down, I am holding myself accountable, and allowing everyone else to hold me accountable. I will be posting, even if I feel my posts aren't perfect. I'm not perfect, and it's not fair for me to hold myself to perfect standards. :)

So here goes. :)

I'm back!

Wow. So apparently I'm a big giant blog-slacker. :)

This year, I will be better. Promise. What I can't promise, is that this blog won't be boring. But at least I will be posting with regularity.

Sisters!

This kid went back to SUU yesterday. :( Seriously??

Gorgeous, right?

Looks nothing like me, right?

We're sisters. :)

Even though we fight basically every day, I love her guts and I'll miss having her around!

Check out her blog here. She's hilarious!

Lucky for me, I still get to have these kids to hang out with!

Mel.

She's possibly one of the funniest people I know. 

Also, we have the same (mildly unhealthy) obsession with Grey's Anatomy.

And the same RIDICULOUS hair. :)

Lindsay. She's 11.

She always puts a smile on my face!

I love my sisters. :) I'm the luckiest girl!

Back to School!

This morning, I woke up totally jazzed for my first day of school. Yes, I am one of those people that LOVES the first day. Fresh school supplies and new books are my favorite!

Unfortunately, I woke up just before 8 am. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but my classes don't start until 4 PM. I figured I'd just clean my room, start some laundry, and then it would be time for me to go, right? WRONG. Laundry started, room (semi)clean, dressed, ready for my day, I even watched a movie. I looked at my watch............... 

11:30 am.

SERIOUSLY????

The day just dragged forever. I finally came to school (2 hours early) and managed to successfully add the last class I needed to my schedule. Hallelujah!! Now I just have to figure out how I'm going to juggle 13 credits and a 40-hour work week. **deep breaths**

Now I'm sitting in a lecture that feels like it has lasted almost as long as my ENTIRE day of waiting did...... and I've only been here for an hour. Whose idea was it to schedule a class from 6-8:30 p.m.? 

focus. focus. focus.

I'm starving.

Also, This show is back on starting tonight. You better believe I'm going straight home to watch it as soon as I'm free. :)

Bucket List 2012

In lieu of New Year's Resolutions, I'm making a Bucket List for 2012. I did this last year, and I actually accomplishment a lot of things from my list, but I never blogged about it. Fail. This year, though, I'm committed! So without further ado:

Steph's Bucket List for 2012
22 Things to do in my 22nd year

Blog at least 2 times each week! 

Read at least one book every 2 weeks 

Go to Disneyland!!!!! 

Pay off my car 

Go camping 

Run a 5k 

Date a boy 

Hike Bridal Veil Falls (never done it!!) 

Keep the same job all year! 

Get a 3.5 GPA Winter Semester 

Finish a quilt 

Write a song 

Win a round of Rumble Pit on Halo (Yes that is for real) 

Act in a play 

Go to Las Vegas 

Kiss under mistletoe 

Reach my goal weight 

Go on a picnic 

Stargaze 

See the Grand Canyon 

Sing the National Anthem at a public event 

Ride the Alpine Slide/Alpine Coaster

Welcome!

Welcome to my little corner of the world!
I am a 21 year old college student, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a sister, a friend, a musician, a nanny, a seamstress, and so many other things! I want this blog to represent all of those things, because they are all important to me. I want a place to share my thoughts, my projects, my friends and family, and my accomplishments with everyone!

I used to blog, once upon a time, but I rarely posted because I would write something, and throw it out thinking it was good enough, or appealing enough, or funny enough. I have finally come to realize that it doesn't matter. This blog is for me, and if I am the only one that reads it, then that's just fine. If other people read, then that's great too!! I am not going to change my views to make someone else happy. :) I welcome other's comments and ideas, even if they are contrary to my own, as long as they are respectful.

Enjoy!

Hey, It's Okay!

It's time for another Hey, It's OK Friday Saturday! Inspired by Amber!!

Hey, It's OK....

..... if I ignored my blog for many months because I was working two jobs while in school full time.

..... if I cry over having to let a job offer in Manhattan slip by, even though the job I already have will be wonderful and rewarding.

..... if I really really really really want to spend all of my summer earnings (that are supposed to be for school) on a week-long trip to Disneyland!

..... if I blog even though I have 57 things on my to-do list before I move in exactly 3 weeks!

..... to be super excited to move back to the humidity!!! :) (That's not even sarcastic. I really do love it)

..... to be looking forward to my summer job (at a summer camp, as a rock climbing instructor) even if I feel under-qualified and unprepared.

..... to spend hours hanging out with my best cousin Jennifer almost every day in an attempt to avoid my responsibilities.

Hey, It's Okay!

It's time for Hey, It's Okay Fridays, inspired by Amber over at Airing My Dirty Laundry One Sock at a Time.


It's OK.....


..... if you just did 9 loads of laundry at your parents house, and your closet/dresser/storage drawers are still completely full.


..... to drive past people waiting in line for Black Friday and laugh, then go home and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate.


..... to be excited for your crazy roommate to move out so your house will finally stop smelling like "dried black fungus" (she cooks with the stuff..... VOM)


..... to be super excited to start school again.


..... to not post on your blog for 6 months because you are way too busy having AWESOME adventures.


..... to use your best friends wedding as an excuse to take a 6 week vacation from school, work, everything!


..... to complain about working too much (58 hours) one week, and complain about not working enough (0 hours) the next.


..... to watch 2 full seasons of Psych over Thanksgiving break.

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Wow.... I suck at blogging apparently. :) It's been a crazy few months. I lived in Virginia from May 1-September 18, and I loved (almost) every second of it! There are so many wonderful experiences that I had living there, it would take me years to catch up! Now I'm back in Utah. I'm getting ready to go back to school in January and I can't wait!! I'm looking at a few different 30-day blog challenges, hopefully that will help me get in a better habit of keeping this silly blog updated! Check back soon! :)

I did it!

I finally bought myself a camera! I know I've been a total slacker, and haven't posted since I left. There is tons to tell, but I wanted to have pictures to accompany. :) Within the next few days I'll get rolling!