Perfectionism

So.......

I'm a senior.

Hallelujah.

I thought this day would never come! I'm graduating this April, from BYU. Can't. Even. Wait.

This is my last semester of classes, and honestly, I am just thrilled with my schedule. It is the perfect balance of not-too-hard, and classes-I'm-in-love-with. One of the classes I'm taking is called MCOM 320. It is basically a Business Communication class. I'm pretty excited about it. One of our assignments this semester is to blog at least once a week. (I know, right?!) The goal is for me to apply things I am learning to my life. Awesome.

So after class, I was talking to my professor (whose personality seems very similar to mine. I can tell I like her already.), and she said something that couldn't have been more perfect for me to hear as I'm starting this semester out. I mentioned to her that English is my worst subject. I just hate to write. It's not that I'm bad at it, i just stress about it to a completely unreasonable degree. My teacher called it "perfectionism paralysis."

Perfectionism paralysis.

Whoa.

So there's a name for my seemingly irrational behavior? Never have I heard it so perfectly summed up in two little words. You see, when I don't feel like I can do something perfectly, I lose all my motivation to do it at all. I either turn in an assignment that I feel deserves an A, or I don't turn anything in at all. Which is RIDICULOUS. I know it is ridiculous. I have to constantly talk myself into doing things imperfectly.

Now what?

Now that I have a term to define it, I can better avoid my "perfectionism paralysis." The first way I am going to start, is with this blog. Not only will I blog once a week, like my assignment requires, I will post a second time each week. Sometimes I feel I have nothing to say to the blogosphere because I am not married, nor do I have children, or live in an exotic place, or have a crazy interesting job. But I have to learn to be ok with just being me. I have something to offer the world because I am Stephanie Dawn. I am a student, and a woman, and a perfectionist, and I want to share myself with all of you.

So I'm posting my commitment here, for everyone to see. By writing it down, I am holding myself accountable, and allowing everyone else to hold me accountable. I will be posting, even if I feel my posts aren't perfect. I'm not perfect, and it's not fair for me to hold myself to perfect standards. :)

So here goes. :)